Friday, May 02, 2008

For Joan

On 4 May, Joan and I will be celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary. It has been quite a journey. And I have never regretted any single day that I have spent with her.

Joan and I were classmates in law school. We started out as friends and had respective other relationships as well before we found each other. It was not a fairytale romance though and I have no pretensions that it was to be that way.

My only regret is that, how I wished I met her earlier in my life. We have been thru the best and worst of times. There were times before that we found ourselves without any cash on hand and wondered how will we cope with the bills. We have argued as well on almost every issue that confronted us and yet we remained steadfast in our love for each other.

Throughout the 14 years, we have learned to support and respect each other. There were times that I have become unreasonable and cranky, due to the stress of work. And yet she will always find a way to bring me back to reality and try to make me see that there is more to life than the four corners of my office.

Joan and I are quite opposites. She is more out going than me. And definitely she has more friends than me. She understands math and I don't. She can blend into any crowd, while I tend to be an introvert sometimes.

Our kids simply adore her and I think they believe her more than me (?) as I tend to be tough on them as well at any hint of noise or childishness.

I look forward to celebrating not only fourteen (14) more years with Joan but more than a lifetime, as I always say to her. She holds forever the keys to my heart.

I was looking at some old letters I wrote to Joan and I saw a letter that I wrote to her in 1999. In that letter, I quoted Bob Garon. Mr. Garon wrote : " The most dangerous attitute, lovers can have is to believe that, we have made it to the top of the mountain, now the rest will be easy. The truth is that there are many more mountains to climb. many of them far more difficult than anything the couple has experienced up to now."

Jo, I look forward to our continuing journey. With you at my side, I shall not waiver nor fall. You are my strength, my life and soul. Happy anniversary !!

Auden's Poem

As I Walked Out One Evening

by W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.
And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.
'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,
'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.
'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'
But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.
'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.
'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.
'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.
'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.
'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.
'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.
'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.
'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'
It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.